Thursday 6 January 2011

Bye bye tree

Where did all the shiny sparkly things go? Pesky parents taking them down and just when I was having fun too.  On Tuesday night Mummy turned round just in time to see my world class accomplishment of strength, i pulled the Christmas Tree over, all on my own! I swear I get cleverer every single day! However, there was a very minor tiny..well insignificant really...flaw in my plan, I pulled it over on to me.  Oops.  I had a tree over my head, it was very bristly and uhm...green.  Mummy had to rescue me and she decided there and then to take the tree down, spoilsport.

I'm not going to stop my poo marathon until they reinstate the pretty lights and sparkly stuff.  So there. My bargaining chip is bigger then theirs.  Failure is not an option!

I'm not sleeping very well at the minute, but luckily Mummy sleeps with me so all I have to do is whimper and I get a cuddle and milk on draught, this is so the life. 

I still have no toothy pegs, but have had lots of drool for months now, I emptied a bucket load all over daddy when he was playing with me, he literally had puddle on his arm, see I'm such a nice boy me, I share and everything and I'm only 8.5 months old!

I've been teaching Daddy how to pass things to me, he's doing very well, my cleverness must be catching!  He keeps handing me toys and then saying 'Ta' so I hand them right back, he claps and whoops, such a simple creature, so easy to amuse so I tolerate this inane game for a while, just to make him happy.

I'm still having lots of fun with food despite the fact I don't really eat much of it.  My latest favourate is to suck all the yummy juice out of satsuma pieces, very very yummy, that's in between making peas dance (all you have to do is bash your highchair table and they jump and dance, who knew?!)  and feeding the dog cheerios.

Mummy has ordered me some lovely new nappies from Rosie-Boo's, I can't wait until I get them, not just one but THREE, she let Daddy choose one so he couldn't complain too much, I'd better watch out for girls, they appear to be very cunning.

When I grow up I'm going into the demolition business, it's the dogs bollocks! I have a compulsion to demolish things.  I can spot a stacking cup tower across the room and approach it with super speed just to knock it over.....I do the same with building blocks and stacking bugs too.  I will not allow anybody have a tower in my domain, I don't discriminate between builders, they all get demolished. mwhahahahaha.

Mummy is being a big Meany, I managed to steal the Argos catalogue and she didn't mind, I started ripping it up...she was fine with that too, but the big kill joy confiscated it just because I wanted to eat the bits I ripped. So, for penance I'm stood gripping my chair whilst I'm grunting out a huge poo for her to deal with.  That  will teach her not to mess with me, I may even cry and crawl away mid changing it.  If I don't get the catalogue back within 5 mins, I'll pull out all the stops and keep her awake all night again too. I'm the boss. I'm so the boss.

Sunday 2 January 2011

I'm not a banshee.

Mummy took me to see The Doctor on Friday, he was a very nice man so much so that i even let him look in my ears (which are fine) and my eyes (which are not fine, they're like....gunky. eeew).  There was a very funky looking thing on his desk that I kept trying to grab but naughty Mummy kept stopping me, I swear if I had teeth I'd bite her, that would teach her not to interfere with my fun!

The Doctor gave Mummy a green piece of paper which she handed in to a person with a white coat thing on and they handed her some eye drops for me, Mummy & Daddy are most impressed with my uber skillz at accepting them like a dude, then again they can pretty much do anything so long as the boob's in my mouth.

While we were out this mad woman kept stroking my sling and telling Mummy how lovely it is and how lovely I am but she got it all wrong, the sling is indeed loely but I'm lovlier!

I'm having a poo-fest at the moment.  I usually only bother going every few days, I can't be bothered wasting energy doing it more often but Mummy looks awfully bored lately so I've been squeezing several out a day, just for her to keep her occupied.  See the things I do for my Mummy, I must love her afterall!

I'm very busy being a super clever baby at the moment, I can even 'walk' if Mummy holds one of my hands, bet you're impressed...you should be.

Last night wasn't very nice, I woke up at 1.30am and was very upset, so upset i simply couldn't stop crying.  I think I scared poor mummy, but never mind her....I scared myself.  Even Daddy came up to the bedroom (I share a king size bed with my mummy so I can sleep and eat to my hearts content, I'm very important you know and daddy is relegated to the couch) to try and settle me but I think his inability to settle me made him cross (Mummy said men get cross to hide their insecurities!) Eventually I managed to stop howling long enough to have a big long feed and then fell asleep finally.  Mummy is clueless as to why i was so utterly upset, she even waved that annoying thing at my head that bleeps and tells her if I'm hot or not (I wasn't).

Oh well, it's time for my nap now, this is the life.  Catch you laters.